It's not about you, sir....

So alot has happened over the last 9 months since my husband split.
We still work at the same place.
And so does his girlfriend....his very pregnant girlfriend.
To explain the drama that has transpired at my job would take too long.
So, I will just say that lots of (horrible) things have been said and done.
It has exhausted me.
And through it all, I have (somehow) managed to be the bigger person, and keep my mouth shut. (which has been a HUGE deal for me)
But, as I sat in a very unexpected meeting yesterday with 3 supervisors and my (asshole) husband sitting straight across from me, being yelled at and belittled by the "big boss", I reached my breaking point.
I did not argue. I did not disrespect.  But I had seriously had enough.  My silence was going to be broken.
I left that office in tears, crying ( I mean like full-blown-5-year-old-hyperventilating-crying).
Went to my office.  Gathered lots of paperwork, emails, memo's (thank God I trusted my instincts and wrote all that crap down). I sat and broke down, REALLY broke down.
And then I cleaned up my face, called my best friend (who is more like my sister) and headed back to see the "big boss".
I just wanted to talk. I just wanted him to listen. I talked. I cried. Not a sad cry, but a MAD cry.  I showed every paper, email, memo, everything. Laid it all out there.  And I did it for me.
Now, he is a "man" so, of course he didn't "get it".  He kept making comments like: "Well I know you feel you need to explain yourself".  Or "I know you are worried what I think about you personally and as an employee".  Bottom line: It was not about him.  In fact, I wanted to say "I don't give a shit about what you think of me, sir".  This was for me. And only for me. I had been walked on and ran over so many freaking times in the last year that I had to STAND UP for myself. 

He could have fired me, reprimanded me, done anything....It wasn't about that.  I just needed to break my silence.  I needed to prove that I DID NOT DO THIS and no matter what I DID NOT DESERVE THIS and I wasn't being quiet anymore.

Of course my bestie sitting next to me just gave me strength.  And the fact that she was by my side, and that she, too stood up for me (somehow in the 5 seconds I gave her to get her butt up front she managed to show up armed with HER copies of emails and things too) made me feel like I was ok. 

For the first time in 9 long months at my job I was ok.

I was strong again.

I was me again.

It was such a relief to get 9 months worth of weight lifted off my shoulders.

Now, don't get me wrong, this "man" did not, of course, apologize for the previous meeting and for yelling at me.  But I didn't even expect that. I didn't care if he apologized.  I didn't care what he said or thought.  It wasn't about him, or anyone else this time, it was about me.