My Announcer

Wow, there is so much to say about my son, Joshua.
He was my first born.

I knew he was special from the moment I laid eyes on his little 5lb self.
Joshua was the best baby you could have.
He was loving, sweet, kind, and very smart.
When Josh was 3 he was diagnosed with Autism.
He was later diagnosed with, more specifically, Asperger's Syndrome.
Joshua struggles just to get thru every single day.
You see, to Joshua the world is very "black and white".
He has alot of "social issues", which is a part of Asperger's Syndrome.
He has trouble making friends.
His mind isn't keeping up with his growing body.
He looks like a 14 1/2 year old on the outside.
But is much like a 5 or 6 year old on the inside.
Most Autistic kids get obsessed with something and revolve their life around it.
Joshua's obsession is Nascar and has been as long as I can remember.
He can't remember how to tie his shoes.
But he can tell you every driver, their #, their sponsor.
He can tell you racing facts that date back, before he was born, to the beginning of racing.
There is no racing trivia question he has ever been asked that he did not know the answer to.
It's amazing. And annoying, at times.
Joshua is scared of most things.
He is very worried about getting hurt, his sensory's feel things about 10 times what we would feel them.
So, if he gets a paper cut, you would think by his reaction he needed his finger amputated.
Seriously.
He loves the weather, constantly keeping an eye on the weather channel.
He has spent alot of time worrying about a "natural disaster" taking us all out.
"Mom, don't you worry that we will have a Tsunami here?"
"How do u guys sleep at night not knowing if we will all be wiped out from a Tornado??"
Yes, he has filled my life with lots of crazy questions.
And you can't blow him off, you have to sit down and explain why we are NOT going to have a Tsunami in Missouri.  :)
With him being scared of everything, he is too scared to ride or drive in a Nascar.
So he has decided he is going to be an "announcer".
You know, like the ones you see announcing the races on tv.
I gotta tell ya, he would make a great one.
He has a table/racetrack my dad built him several years ago.
He spends the majority of his day in his room, alone, driving those cars around that track and "announcing".
He is unbelievably good at it.
I ask him, if you're too afraid to fly, and you say you never want to drive, how will you get to all these races?
He looks at me stupidly and says, "well you're going to drive me, Mom".
Ok, seriously....is this how I'm going to spend my retirement?
The last couple years have been extremely hard on Josh and myself.
He is in the Jr high/high school now and he hates it.
He tells me everyday how much he hates it.
He cries alot. He is depressed.
He tells me no one likes him, no one will talk to him because he's "different".
I would have to say the absolute worst feeling in the world is seeing your own child go thru the things he has went thru in the last couple of years.
The kids know he's different now.
So, instead of trying to help him, they tease and bully him.
I try to build up his self confidence.
I tell him, just ignore them because one day they will be jealous when they see you on tv announcing races.
He has been asking alot of questions to me lately about what's wrong with him and why he's "different".
This is hard. He is figuring out he's not the same as the other kids.
He doesn't understand why or how he was dealt these cards.
And neither do I.
The first time we ever visited the woman that would become his official "Autism Doctor" for the next several years she gave me the best advice I would ever receive:
She said I was beginning a battle, the biggest battle I would ever see in my life.  I was Joshua's warrior. He cannot fight for himself, so you have to fight the battle for him.  Cry, be sad, get your grieving and pity over with now.  Then, pull yourself up, put your big girl panties on and fight for your child.  Because he cannot fight this battle alone.  Your will to fight for him will determine the rest of his life.
.............and that is exactly what I DID and have DONE ever since.
There is nothing in this world I would not do to protect him.
He is my son.
He is my first born.
He is the sunshine in my day.
He is special because God chose him to be.
He is MY ANNOUNCER.